How to Become the Most Interesting Man (or Woman) in the World
Photo by Allef Vinicius on Unsplash
You have seen the commercials.
There is a man who can do everything better than you.
He can jump, swim, think, crack jokes, tell stories, all while drinking his favorite beverage and playing chess and who knows what else.
Fictional, obviously. But there are some real people who are even more interesting.
For some reason, we cannot stop thinking about these people. We cannot stop talking about them. They are so fascinating that we wonder if we can ever be like them.
I have known a handful of these people. Every time I talk to them, I just think, “This person is so… cool!” Or “this person is so... fascinating!”
I have looked at their lives and determined that there is a formula to become the most interesting man (or woman) alive.
Here is the formula.
. . .
1. Dig deep.
Follow your bliss.
— Joseph Campbell
A man once told his son that there was water in a field behind their home. He told his son that he would reward him handsomely if the young man could find the place to dig where a well could be drawn.
The young man started digging early in the morning. The father waited patiently to hear back from his son. When the sun started to disappear, the son slowly walked back to his father, disappointed.
“I didn’t find any water.”
The young man’s words surprised his father. The father knew that there was water in the field. Digging nearly anywhere would lead to water.
The father had to see where his son actually dug. How could he miss?
The father walked up to the field. He immediately knew the problem.
Holes completely covered the field, each one no more than a few feet deep.
“The only way to reach what you are looking for is to pick a spot. Then keep digging until you find what you are looking for. Dig deep, not wide.”
The young man thought that he would find water by digging shallow holes over and over and over. The solution, though, was to pick one spot and dig deep.
Life works the same way. Pick one area and dig deep. As Joseph Campbell has said, “Follow your bliss.” Follow your interests. Follow what captivates, captures, and fascinates you.
People who follow their dreams and desires are fascinating because so few people do it.
If you want to become interesting, dig deep. Do not jump from shallow hole to shallow hole. Find your bliss. Find your fascination. Then chase it to the end.
. . .
2. See Both Sides
“The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.”
— F. Scott Fitzgerald
Most people are quick to judge and slow to change.
Truly fascinating people form opinions over time, but are still able to see any issue from multiple points of view.
One of my attorney mentors constantly reminds me that the best lawyers embrace the facts as they are - not as they want the facts to appear. The same principle applies across most disciplines.
The most fascinating people in the world only see the facts as they are - boring people only see the facts they want to see.
Interesting people form amazing relationships with all kinds of people - even people with which they vehemently disagree. Can you see issues from all sides? If yes, then you instantly become fascinating.
. . .
3. Joy
“You must joyfully participate in the sorrows of this world.”
— Joseph Campbell
Everyone has experienced pain and sorrow. Some more than others, but we all have suffered.
But have you ever noticed that often the people who have lost the most have the most joy? These people are not crazy or oblivious: they know something that other people do not.
Joy is the one trait that you can bring to any situation.
The most fascinating people in the world have loved and lost, but still find joy in everything.
. . .
4. Read. A Lot.
“Whatever you are full of tends to fall out of you when are bumped.”
— Indian proverb
I agree with Ryan Holiday: reading is one of the most transformative activities that you can perform.
But most people do not read. They might scan the Internet and track social media. But they do not read.
The most interesting people have seemingly unlimited knowledge and information at their fingertips.
The greatest minds have captured their thoughts and ideas in classic books. And the most up-to-date thinking about life, business, and success waits for you at this very moment. The greatest stories ever told are begging you to dive into their worlds.
Teddy Roosevelt read nearly a book a day. Many people read a book every single week. The most interesting people crave an inflow of new and exciting information.
And when you are constantly exposed to new information, you develop an energy and aura of excitement. You become interesting. You become fascinating.
Reading makes you irresistible.
. . .
5. Obsession
“Whenever anything is being accomplished, it is being done, I have learned, by a monomaniac with a mission.”
— Peter Drucker
To many, obsession is a curse. It can certainly be a disorder or detriment.
But obsession can also be a gift. If you channel your obsessions, you can accomplish nearly anything.
Truly fascinating people cherish their obsessions and use that energy to intensely focus on problems and issues. Their obsessive focus allows them to harness an energy that others can only dream about.
The most interesting people in the world search for obsessions and use them to solve incredible problems. We need their obsessions.
. . .
6. Embrace Your Quirks
“The goal of life is to take everything that made you weird as a kid and get people to pay you money for it when you're older.”
— David "Swim to Kansas" Freeman, screenwriter
Let’s admit it. We all have interests that other people think are weird.
There is no such thing as normal.
The problem is that the quirks are not very interesting until you do something with them.
The most interesting people take the quirks that other people think are weird and turn them into opportunities.
. . .
7. Don’t Settle. Ever.
“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.”
― George Bernard Shaw
You can always trade greatness for good.
But if you want to be great, you have to say no to good over and over. And over. Until you get what you want.
The most fascinating people never settle.
. . .
8. Spend Time Alone.
“Follow effective action with quiet reflection. From the quiet reflection will come even more effective action.”
― Peter Drucker
Thinking is the hardest thing to do - that’s why so few people do it.
But there is a difference between wallowing in our own despair and intense self-examination. Most people do not ruthlessly examine their own lives. They think about TV, social media, celebrities, and countless other things that do not directly affect them.
The most interesting people observe reality. They reflect on how they can make the biggest impact. Fascinating people observe first, in isolation. Then they act quickly and decisively based on their own thoughts and observations.
The most interesting people in the world spend time alone in order to become unstoppable.
. . .
9. Spend Time with Others
“Those who are happiest are those who do the most for others.”
― Booker T. Washington
Reflecting is not enough. Thinking does not solve any problems. Or bring joy.
You make a difference by interacting with others. There is no other way.
The only way to be happy is to serve other people.
The most fascinating people magnetically attract others, because they cherish each moment, person, and interaction.
. . .
9. Passion
“Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson
Are you ever afraid to ask someone how they are doing? I am not afraid to ask: I am really afraid that they will actually tell me!
Many people live lives without any energy. They travel through inertia, to lethargy, and sometimes make a pit stop at apathy.
The most interesting people GET JACKED UP AND STAY THERE... FOREVER.
Enthusiasm is the first step to competency. Intensity comes from having passion consistently over long periods of time.
Fascinating people have passion and use that passion and energy to make dents in this world.
. . .
10. Courage
“When a brave man stands, the spines of those around him stiffen.”
— Napoleon
Fear is crippling. It steals your drive, momentum, and energy.
Courage unlocks potential. Nothing happens without courage first.
But it is not just physical bravery that breaks barriers. It is courage on a daily basis in all areas.
Fascinating people are not afraid of what others think, or what others might say. They are not intimidated by big problems, or small minds.
The most interesting people know that in every room, someone has to be the first to stand. And they stand first.
. . .
11. Say Less
“In most areas of life, the less you say, the more profound and mysterious you appear.”
— Robert Greene
Most people talk too much. They want to share every thought that they have.
But talking too much is one of the easiest ways to guarantee that you are boring.
The most fascinating people listen more than they speak, almost uncomfortably. Instead of dominating conversations, they ask questions. Instead of aiming to impress, they inquire. Instead of boasting, they acknowledge and uplift.
People who listen and selectively speak up fascinate us because they appear mysterious — almost calculated to lure us into the moments when they do speak up.
The most interesting people speak less, and capture us with their silence.
. . .
12. The Final Ingredient: Time
“What you are to be, you are becoming.”
— Dr. Eric Thomas
You might look at the above list and think: I can do this. I can do that.
But doing the above activities is not enough. Becoming fascinating is not an overnight gig. It is an every day gig.
You will never wake up and become something, like a caterpillar bursting from a cocoon into a butterfly.
People who have one good day are not interesting. One good week is not enough. Neither is one good month, or a good year.
To become interesting, embrace the above as a lifestyle.
What you are to be, you are becoming.
— Dr. Eric Thomas
I can’t tell you that this will take days, months, years, or even decades. But I can say this: it will take time.
Do not try to be interesting. The most interesting people follow their dreams, passions, desires, and intuition. They are not concerned with impressing anyone else. They hear their own music and they dance to it. And they never leave the dance floor.
These activities compounded over time will create in you something that cannot be denied. It is something that very few people are willing to do. So few, in fact, that when someone lives this way, it is nothing short of miraculous. It is so rare, in fact, that when people meet you, they will have to talk about you. They will tell other people about you. They will share your ideas, your dreams, your visions. In short, to some, you will be the most interesting and fascinating person they have ever met.
. . .
Call To Action
Become irresistible!
If you want to learn the one lesson that has changed my life more than any other, and can absolutely transform your life, eliminate frustration, and crush anxiety, then check out my free “Daily Transformation Checklist.”