What I learned about mindfulness from the toughest woman I know.

One day my karate instructor walked up to me before class and asked me an unexpected question: “What are you so stressed about?”

Before she asked this question, we had not spoken. She should not have known what I was feeling. But I was stressed. I can remember that day so clearly.

I had the type of anxiety that you can actually feel in your chest and throughout your body. There was a physical manifestation to what I mentally felt.

I don’t remember what caused the stress, but I remember walking into class feeling a strong sense of anxiety and pressure. I remember not wanting to go to class, but somehow I forced myself to walk into the dojo.

“What are you so stressed about?”

I do not remember what I told her. But she followed up her question with a powerful statement.

“I can tell you have anxiety by how you are carrying yourself. Your shoulders are tight and hunched. Your back is curved forward slightly. Your posture is closed. It looks like something is wrong and your mind is elsewhere.”

I was speechless. Even though I said nothing, she knew what was happening. She did not say much else, but she ended the exchange with “Well, I am glad you came to class today.”

She intended to teach me a lesson that day. And she did.

. . .

Your Mind Cannot Focus on Anything Else

That class was different from previous classes. I remember that my instructor’s intensity during the class was higher than it had ever been.

The first punch was the hardest punch I had ever blocked to that point in my training. I blocked the first kick to my chest — something was different. I had to focus more than ever just to avoid serious injury.

Something happened to me that day. That class was the first time that I remember actually emptying my mind while practicing karate.

Here is what I remember and my attempt to describe this state of mind.

When my teacher was in front of me, ready and able to strike, all of my senses had to focus on what was directly in front of me. My mind could not focus on anything else. I couldn’t think about what I did five minutes ago, or what I was going eat afterwards. The only thing I could focus on was my immediate surroundings. I had to put all of my focus on the present. I had to channel all of my focus on the space around me. I had to empty my mind of anything that would distract me from protecting myself and from performing in the moment.

To clarify, I was not focused on the person in front of me. I was not looking at her fist or her face or even into her eyes. My eyes, in a way, stared straight ahead, with no particular focus, except that I was looking directly through the person in front of me and seeing everything.

My mind was emptied so that I could take in everything around me. I had no wasted focus — all my attention was directed ahead of me, in the present moment.

I focused on nothing but saw everything. In that class, I became mindful of my immediate surroundings for the first time.

That sensation and level of focus is what I refer to as “mindfulness.”

. . .

“You Look Different”

Interestingly, at the end of the class, my teacher remarked, “You look different.” I actually felt different as well. In truth, all the physical signs of my anxiety had disappeared. There was no more stress — no more tension in my shoulders, back, neck, or chest.

The stress disappeared because the practice of emptying my mind forced me to eliminate any thoughts of my anxiety or problems. I could only allow into my mind what would protect and prepare me for that specific moment in the present.

I believe I had reached a point in my training where I had enough physical skill and training that I did not have to focus on the basics anymore. My focus could shift to being in the moment instead.

. . .

Empty Your Mind

Here’s what I learned from that class and have carried with me to this day:

A mind that is busy, full of twisting thoughts and worries, must be emptied. The way to empty my mind is to force it to focus on the fist headed towards my face, on the task right in front of me, on the next challenge. The power of the focus must be so strong that it pushes everything else out of my mind. And I can’t think about anything else. Or I will get punched in the face.

Our bodies are reflecting the stress all around us. The total of our worries add up and weigh us down. Distractions are everywhere — especially now. Even excitement can derail us. We need ways to ditch the weight, and free ourselves of the anxiety and stress that attack us.

When our minds are emptied, we can fill them with anything we want. It is the ultimate feeling of power, rationality, and calm. It is the perfect time for renewal, clear thinking, and creation.

Thanks to a punch in the face, we can say goodbye to stress, anxiety, and worry.

“You look different,” she said. “Thank you for coming to class today.”

. . .

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Learn the one lesson that has changed my life more than any other.