Facing reality is the first step to change the world.

“The real poetry and beauty in life comes from an intense relationship with reality in all its aspects.”

— Robert Greene

Most people think that a positive attitude is a good thing.

I probably would agree. Most of the time.

People who are optimistic and happy are generally more fun and rewarding to be around than others missing those qualities.

But sometimes high-pressure demands change the analysis.

Sometimes, optimism is the enemy of actually getting things done because it can blind us from what must be done.

One of the great moments in my business life happened recently. I learned why my own optimism is not always a good quality. And I learned a great lesson about attitude, execution, and achievement.

. . .

Board Meetings are Fun, Until They Are Not

The Pessimist complains about the wind, the Optimist expects it to change and the Realist adjusts his sails.

— William Arthur Ward

I was sitting in a board meeting. The meeting seemed normal. Until the biggest issue in the company came up: funds.

Funding is the oxygen of the startup world. When you have funding, you can focus on other goals. When you don’t have funding, you can’t do anything else. A startup can only hold its breath for so long. Suffocation for a startup is real. And painful. And scary.

The company needed funding, or else there wouldn’t be a company soon.

The leader of the company had finished telling the board about all of the possible sources of funds.

The leader provided a detailed list of all of the funding opportunities and was optimistic. Some had even said “yes” — we were just waiting for due diligence, or confirmation. He was genuinely excited about the possibilities.

But one board member started to press in and ask pointed questions. And the answers to the questions revealed that there was a serious need for funds in the short term.

The company needed money — now. Or it would suffocate.

The pointed questions from one board member revealed the truth — even though there were reasons for optimism, it was really black and white.

There was no funding at that moment. The company was living on fumes.

The optimism of the leader was overtaken by the reality of the situation. That reality only emerged because one person pressed into the situation.

There was tension in the room. Someone had uncovered that the company was on life support.

Something had to change. Urgent action was needed.

Here is where the magic happened. And the lesson I won’t forget.

Once the short-term need was articulated — the people in the room started presenting ideas on what to do.

One person spoke up — he could reach out to someone he knows.

Another board member jumped in — he had done something similar previously that the company should try.

A flurry of ideas came forward that were never even discussed before.

It was magic.

And then it was done. Next item on the agenda.

The board meeting finished.

And some people went home. But not everyone.

. . .

The Lesson

The real poetry and beauty in life comes from an intense relationship with reality in all its aspects.

— Robert Greene

A few of us stayed. And here is where I learned the lesson about the dangers of optimism.

“Your optimism is killing us.”

The board member who pressed the issue earlier made the comment. It was one of those short course corrections that can only come from a battle-tested warrior. Short, sharp, and to the point.

“Your optimism is killing us.”

He explained further. “When you are optimistic, then everyone else is relaxed. No one else feels the need to pitch in and contribute. You have some extremely talented individuals on the board. But all of those talents are dormant unless there is a need for them.”

He kept going, noting that his audience was struck with surprise at his directness, but also attentive to his comments.

“Did you notice what happened when I started to question the reality that you were presenting? As soon as the harsh reality was revealed, somebody spoke up with an idea. You need to activate people’s skills and gifts. Use the talents in the room. Nobody is going to speak up and be creative if they think everything is rosy.”

“As soon as one person presented an idea, then two more immediately jumped on board. Challenges activate talented people. But they will never know about a challenge that we are facing if you never tell them.”

Challenges activate talented people.

As I witnessed this exchange, my mind started racing. This guy was right. With one comment he nailed a fundamental problem. And a select few had the opportunity to witness it. He probably does not even remember the discussion.

But I do.

And it still affects me today.

I am an optimist. I expect good things to happen.

But when you’re trying to execute on a large scale, sometimes we must temper that optimism.

If you have a team, you need to activate everyone’s creativity. One way — maybe the only way — to do that is to embrace the challenges that are right in front of us.

Once smart people know that the true reality of a situation is grim — that a company, person, or idea is close to dying — then something innate occurs. Something nearly magical.

Survival becomes the only goal.

And the magic happens.

Ideas magically appear.

Desperation creates motivation that would never otherwise emerge.

So, yes, your optimism may be killing you.

Or your company. Or your family. Or your life.

Sometimes you just need to hear the right advice at the right time.

So stop being so optimistic. It’s killing you.

. . .

Learn the one lesson that has changed my life more than any other.